Skip to main content

Underachieving... Overachiever

By
Something was heavy on my heart last night and I couldn’t figure it out. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to talk to Facebook about it. You know how we vaguely put it out there, and get feedback that eases you for the moment. This was a heaviness that I had to work out in-house. 
I didn’t have any liquor easily accessible to drown my sorrows with but this was an emergency! So I opened my 8-year Bacardi that I “forgot about”. The one you can only get in Puerto Rico, the one you’ve saved for a special occasion. Yeah, that bottle.

When I got that buzz (which was after the first drink, after all it was that good stuff) I got angry. Angry with myself because of all of the time I “waste” helping everyone else, other than myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love helping people. Giving advice, words of encouragement, doing consulting work and short projects for friends, for free. So why am I angry with myself?

So when I sat down to write this, I had that cry. That long, hearty, throaty cry (not too loud, Bam was asleep). I really needed to get it out.  As I cried, I realized what it was really about. I was feeling the “treadmill effect”. I kept on thinking of how lost I was feeling, how much I needed clarity and how no matter how much and how I work, I’m still getting nowhere.
Ahhh… Now we are getting down to the nitty gritty…
Or is it just that I’m really hiding behind what I do for others because I can’t face my own potential?

Without sounding totally arrogant, I already know I’m talented, so I don’t second-guess myself with that. I don’t mince words, I can give advice with the best of them.

At the end of my cry, I kept asking myself what the hell was I really waiting for? I’m not satisfied with the way my life is going. A bonafide under-achieving… over-acheiver. Mind you, I’m the one driving this vehicle. No one is making me go this way. No one else is in this car but me and Bam and he’s a six-year old that’s just content to have a window seat.

But seriously, I keep feeling like I’m running out of time. And I’ve been bullshyting while the clock is still going. Not really bullshyting, but more like avoiding the inevitable that is my destiny. Ok, I’ve been bullshyting.
The bottom-line to my outpour: It’s all in my hands. I have to stop acting like everything I deserve will all magically appear. I have to constantly keep actively working on it. No more taking on projects that take me away from what I should be doing: Taking care of my own business.

So after I take this last sip of this damn good rum (that I’m going to “hide from myself” and vow not to drink until a real good occasion comes along) I’m going to work my damnedest to finish this book that publishers are already interested in. Before they forget about me…
Visit MissBirdiesBooks.com

Popular posts from this blog

SHIFT UP!!!

By
SO... Yes it's been awhile. Living life and stuff. The thing is, in my absence here, I've sincerely been taking care of business for myself and Bam. Now, it's time for me to share what I've learned with you. I wrote a few books, crossed over a few genres but still stayed within self help. Now more for adults. I realized that to help the children that my earlier books highlight, I also have to help the people entrusted with their care. You can't pour from an empty cup. We all do it. Give energy and resources that we honestly don't have. After doing that (and burning out several times) I've come up with a new philosophy for myself. "You'll get there Birdie, one moment, one day at a time." Simple, right? How? That's the other piece of the philosophy, it's by "Shifting Up." To shift by definition, is a slight change in emphasis, direction or focus. By shifting up, you make small changes towards a better life. That's wh...
Read more

How to Treat your Depressed Friends

By
Ok. Being that I myself live with depression,  I have been very defensive about explaining what has been happening lately with the untimely deaths of some people around us. It's hard to accept but these loved individuals were afflicted with a chronic condition that they have now chosen to take the path of least resistance in their lives by ending it. Don't kill the messenger, it's the most simplistic way to explain it. In other words, all they want is the pain to end. Their reasoning and justifications are not for us to understand. Don't take it personal, it's not you. It's the easier way out, literally. Now I'm seeing well intentioned posts that wonderful people are offering a shoulder to cry on. We love you very much but... 1. Depressed people don't want to stay there. It is a painful place to be. So unless you're a professional, talking about it with you is not the way to help us long term. Sometimes we're in a dark place and we don't ...
Read more

Not-so-Stranger Danger

By
Yesterday, I watched the 20/20 exclusive Robin Roberts interview with 2 of the 3 kidnapping survivors from Cleveland: Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus. (Michelle Knight, not interviewed, was the first woman kidnapped) and I was glued to the screen the entire time. It was a great interview. These women had serious strength and showed great courage despite the circumstances at hand and their survival instincts to stay alive were inspiring. At the time of their kidnapping,  Gina was just 14, Amanda was almost 17. On Twitter, I saw some feedback with people asking why would the young ladies get into a car with a stranger. Answer to that is, this man was no stranger. This man preyed on his own children's friends and took advantage of the fact that these girls were familiar with him. Problem is, this can happen oh so easily. I have a now 11-year old son. And like so many other families, we have a daily routine. The driver of our daily bus ride that we do small talk with, the crossing ...
Read more