Lately, I've been out of it. Little or no social networking, which is bad considering the fact that I need to do it to stay "in the loop". I even stopping talking to people because I didn't want my conversations to be negative. Why infect other people with what was plaguing me? I was now hiding from the world.
WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO ME?
The craziest part of it all is, the issues weren't mine. I had let others' problems and issues consume my time and energy so much that I began to suffocate. When I went to see the doctor on a routine visit, she told me that I have high blood pressure.
I've never had any problems like this and the stress from other people's stress was now making me sick. There was so much negativity around me, it had left me stagnant and constantly dragging my feet. I was paralyzed. I was constantly helping someone else. Being there for other people and not getting anything I needed to get done, done. Then, when it was time to get back to basics, I was lost. I didn't know where I left off. My lack of energy and productivity began to even affect Bam. I'd lie on the couch physically and mentally exhausted, here was Bam lying on me. I saw that he just wanted to be there for me. But I also saw that I was inadvertently projecting my energy to Bam, who was helpless in all of the madness.
What could I do about it?
I went away. Took a short break, a nice long weekend getaway. As tempting as it was, I didn't even take work with me. Just me and Bam. We slept in mornings and played til nightfall. We enjoyed ourselves so much that it hurt when we had to go back home and to reality. That's when I realized that I needed to go back to basics and think of the reasons why I started everything in my life that is going for me up until now. It was always for Bam's and my future. If I stayed the course that Bam and I could enjoy more getaways and outings like that one.
If I'm stressed to the point of sickness and being unproductive, what will become of the dream?
I vow to do better for myself and Bam. Tune out and unplugging from the rest of the world from time to time...
and definitely taking more vacations.