Fear and Hiding


So I just jumped off a building. Just kidding. I just jumped into life, once again.
For the longest, I've been hiding. From what? I still don't know. I guess it was fear of failure, rejection, maybe even success.
Bad business decisions. Ending friendships. Dead relationship. I guess I was traumatized. So I ran for cover. Problem was, I got stuck. I needed to feel safe again. Problem is, when you want to feel safe, after your heart slows down, you get warm and cozy.
Warm and cozy is dangerous. Especially when you are a self-employed businesswoman. Warm and cozy does not pay bills.
When you're broke and hungry, warm and cozy gets uncomfortable. You have to come out sometime. Hiding from what I was hiding from was fear of being hurt again. I had lost enough in such a short time, I wanted to be OK.
Now that my heart is mending, my mind isn't as scattered. I'm in a better position to see that where I was before was nowhere I needed to be for my success. At least for my success to last. The fat had to be trimmed. The burdens had to be lifted.
Everything that happened, had to happen for me to get back on track.
So today, I'm no longer afraid. I'm not paralyzed with fear. Today, I dove back in.